I confess, I am a hypervigilant person. I have been my whole life.
I don't want things to fail. So I try to catch everything, be everywhere, review everything before it goes out. And for a long time, I told myself that was a strength. I was thorough. I cared. I had high standards.
What I didn't see was how much it was costing me, and how much of it was really just fear.
Because I thought I had high standards, but what I actually had was a very elaborate system for managing my anxiety.
Sometimes I do something myself because it feels more cost-effective. But there is no cost saving that makes up for the hours I spend not doing the thing only I can do.
Now, if you don't have a team you work with, you might be thinking — what does this have to do with me?
Everything.
Because hypervigilance doesn't only show up in how you manage people. It shows up in how you manage your fear of being perceived.
It shows up when you spend three hours writing notes for a one-hour consult — not because the client needs all of that, but because you need to feel like you earned your fee. It shows up when you rewrite the same email four times before sending it. When you make sure every single member gets every single transcript, every reference, every detail from every call — not because they asked, but because you're terrified that without all of it, they might think you're not worth it.
That's not thoroughness. That's proving yourself. And it is exhausting.
The same pattern shows up when people get so locked into not being salesy that they stop selling entirely. They make funny videos, they stay likable, they try to be palatable to everyone — including people who will never, ever hire them. And in trying to make sure nobody ever thinks they're pushy, they forget that their business runs on people who actually need what they offer.
Someone out there is trying to age better, reverse a condition, figure out how to live a healthier life — and you have something that could genuinely help them. Is feeling a little uncomfortable when you talk about it really the price you're not willing to pay?
Fear sometimes looks like perfectionism. Sometimes it looks like generosity. Sometimes it looks like "I just want to help people." But underneath all of it, the pattern is the same: you are managing your anxiety, not running your business.
The goal isn't to stop caring. It's to stop letting the fear decide.
Make sales a reflection of who you actually are — not the version you're scared of becoming, but the version that is purely, confidently, wholly yourself. That version can sell. And she doesn't feel salesy at all.
YOUR ONE THING
Fear doesn't go away on its own — you have to give it somewhere else to go. Here's where to start:
1. Replace the fear statement. Write down the thing you keep telling yourself — "I don't want to seem pushy," "I need to make sure this is perfect," "I'll send it when it's ready." Then rewrite it as a move-toward statement: "I want three people to book a call with me this month." Put the new version on a post-it where you'll actually see it.
2. Find the root, not just the feeling. Search for 2–3 podcasts or YouTube videos on perfectionism, hypervigilance, or fear of visibility in business. Not for motivation — for understanding. When you see the pattern explained by someone else, it stops feeling like your unique personal flaw. It also gives you better language to talk to yourself differently.
3. Remove the blank page. Pick one thing you keep stalling on — following up with a lead, writing your sales page, recording a video — and build a simple template or framework for it. You're not starting from scratch anymore. You're filling in a structure. The friction drops, and so does the fear.
4. Set a time limit and don't rescue yourself. Give the task one hour. When the hour ends, stop — even if it's not done. Let yourself sit in that feeling. This is the part nobody wants to do. But if you keep working until 1am to save yourself from the discomfort, you have no incentive to change. The rescue is the problem.
How does fear most often show up in your business?
If this issue made you realize the thing slowing your business down isn't a tactic — it's the thinking underneath it — a 90-Minute Strategy Fix is where we start. One focused session to identify what's actually in the way and what to do about it.
🎬 HIT PLAY
Tired of reading? Go listen to a vegan entrepreneur who figured out the other side of this.
Brenda Workman built a plant-based cooking academy in one of the hardest markets for it — and figured out along the way that showing up scared is still showing up.
You're not too much. You're not too salesy. You're just still running on fear. That part can change.
— Stephanie
P.S. I'm testing something new — a monthly marketing briefing built specifically for vegan coaches and service providers. Take a look at the sample issue here. If it looks useful, founding spots are open until October 9 at a locked-in price.
