What to Do When You Feel Behind

I've been building Vegan Mainstream for years, and I still have moments where I look at what someone else is doing and think: shouldn't I be further along by now? That feeling doesn't disappear as your business grows. It just shows up in different ways.

But here's what I've learned about comparison — it's only useful when you approach it with the right frame. And most of the time, we don't.

I look for inspiration, not a measurement of what I'm doing wrong.

When I notice a difference between my approach and someone else's, I don't stop at the comparison. I try to quickly think about whether that difference would actually help my business move forward. Because sometimes we compare ourselves to things we don't even need.

For example, my priorities in 2026 don't include TikTok. So I don't care how successful my competition is on TikTok. It's not my focus. Because it's easy to think someone is winning a race and forget that you weren't supposed to be in that race in the first place.

Your benchmark has to be reasonable for who YOU are.

I used to compare myself to people who have 10 full-time staff running their businesses. That wasn't realistic. Instead, now I look at the year and the months. Where was I? Where am I now? Where could I be next? Then I look for competition that inspires me in that specific direction.

Comparison should happen with context and on your schedule

It's easy to stumble into comparison when you find a random account or see someone who started their business around the same time you did. But comparison should happen with context — and it should NOT happen late at night when you're doom scrolling.

If you see someone doing well, take a pause. Set aside time later to look at what they're doing in the context of what YOU are trying to achieve. That's a completely different exercise than spiraling at midnight while you wonder why you're not them.

Curate who you compare yourself to

I keep a curated list of competitive accounts to look at. Not just anyone. Not just people who do exactly what I do. I look at people who do things similarly, but we don't compete for the same audience, so I can bring fresh ideas to my audience without just copying direct competitors.

And here's something that changed how I think about this whole thing: most people get caught in the comparison game because they forget how their uniqueness creates something specific. 

Instead of looking for ways to be the same as someone else, use that competitive view to see how other people show up as their unique selves. Then ask yourself how you can do the same. That's where I spend most of my time now — getting inspired to be more of me in the world, not more of someone else.

How to actually fix it

1. Ask if you're even supposed to be in this race.

Before you let comparison derail you, stop and ask: Is what this person is doing actually aligned with where I'm trying to go? Comparison only makes sense when you're measuring yourself against something you're actually pursuing.

2. Set aside time for comparison instead of letting it find you.

Create a curated list of accounts you actually want to learn from and look at them on your own schedule — once a week or once a month. Not as a surprise attack on your self-esteem at midnight.

3. Get curious about their uniqueness, not their tactics.

Instead of looking at what someone else is doing and trying to copy it, I look at HOW they're showing up as their unique self. And then I ask myself — what would it look like for me to show up as MY unique self in a similar way? The answer is almost never "do exactly what they're doing."

4. Remember that your combination is unreplicable.

Your background, your story, your perspective, your way of explaining things — nobody else has that exact mix. The most valuable thing you bring isn't that you're the biggest or the fastest. It's that you're you. And the more you lean into that, the less comparison even makes sense — because nobody can out-compete you at being you.

Stephanie Redcross West is the founder of Vegan Mainstream and the author of Ready to Run, a biweekly newsletter for vegan coaches, consultants, and practitioners.